Writing Exercise 14: A Letter of Complaint

I’ve been reminded that, in times of crisis, a popular British response is to have a good moan. It’s also been suggested by experts that grumbling is healthy. This writing exercise provides an opportunity to practise skills in moaning and grumbling.

Stage 1.
Think of something slightly irritating or mildly annoying. This shouldn’t be about a person but about a thing. Perhaps you don’t like the colour of postboxes or you are annoyed by the absence of herons from your neighbourhood. Make it something you wouldn’t usually consider complaining about.

Stage 2.
Now you have the subject of your complaint, think of someone you might complain to. This could be a real person (someone you don’t know personally) or it could be an invented person (e.g. King of the Birds). Decide how you can blame this person.

Stage 3.
Write a letter of complaint about the cause of annoyance to the person you have decided to hold responsible. Go into elaborate detail. Explain exactly how this minor irritation or annoyance affects you now and may affect you in future. Consider how others might suffer from the same problem. Exaggerate. If you like, demand compensation - and cost out why you deserve the exact sum you have chosen.


Edit the letter until you are happy with it. Sending it probably isn’t a good idea.

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